May 1, 2010

Audition results

I don't have to worry about planning a trip to Seattle in June, or preparing a program--in fact, I really have no reason to practice ever again, if I don't want to.  After such a brutal rejection, do I want to?  Is my heart really in this?  

Truth is, I'm not crying about it, though I am feeling quite sulky.  I knew that the chances of being selected weren't great--I heard the recording,  it is flawed.  But it seemed better to submit it and find out than to not submit it and never know.  

What's troubling me the most right now is my seeming inability to produce a successful audition cd.  If I practiced more, would one of the countless takes come out perfect?  If my health was better, would I have had more energy to record even more takes? Or am I just not as good as I think I am?


3 comments:

Tawna said...

"Bloom where you are planted." There is MUCH for you to do here in Boise. I'll be through in one short year, and we can do some more concerts. I love you. I'm sorry they didn't choose you. (((Hugs)))

kimberlee said...

I already gave you my lengthy response, but here's the pithy one: You don't need any other legitimacy than the legitimacy you give yourself every time your bow touches the string. If you love it, you should not deprive yourself or your audiences of that joy. Of course keep working, but you're too fine a violinist to leave musical decisions in the hands of anyone but yourself. That is the artist's journey. We need more artists. We have enough prodigies.

Judy said...

Touche, Kimberlee!